"Drown the Puppies"- When Love Seems Cruel Part 2

The preaching team at our church has a saying when preparing to preach: "Drown the puppies".
They use it to when they have to throw out parts of a sermon that they are very attached to but must go. I've had to divide this blog about the confusing aspects of God's love into three parts, and even then, I've had to "drown some puppies". There is so much more to say than can ever be said to describe this: 
"I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us." Romans 8:39 (The Message)
So for now, I'm sticking with the quotes of Jesus, God's Own Son, that challenge our confidence in the statement: God is Love.
Jesus cried to His Father in the garden that He be spared this particular route to the salvation of the world, the route of the cross.
His Father answered with silence, the kiss of a betrayer,
and with "Crucify Him" from the mouths of His people.
Jesus' suffering was excruciating; His words from the cross "Why have you forsaken me?"
are certainly a human response to unbearable pain.
I've spent a lot of time meditating and studying this moment...there are more opinions out there than hairs on my head, so I accept that my understanding of God's love and relationship with Jesus is a journey and for now, here is what I believe the "Cry of Dereliction" teaches us about Jesus and His Father.
My last blog discussed Jesus' humanness. Jesus was fully human.
But Jesus was FULLY God as well, one of the Three-in-One.
When Jesus experienced the cross, He experienced human responses to the pain.
But He also experienced the cross as God. That is the incredible, profound truth of the cross: Jesus is the meeting place of God and man. And that is exactly what was intended from creation. God and humanity in perfect relationship.
His cry is a prophetic quote from Psalm 22. Many of His hearers would have heard it in context to the Psalms' proclamations of human suffering answered by God's faithfulness. We only hear it as an isolated reference to apparent desertion. The ancient question is: "If Jesus is God, One with the Trinity, how did He remain God if His Father deserted him, separated Himself from Him?"
And how, could Jesus bare the ordeal at all... if His divinity was no longer intact?
How can we call a God "Father", who deserts His son at the moment of greatest desperation?
Heavy questions. 
In the past, I've answered questions like this with: "Well, it's just too big to understand...I will never understand. God's 'love' will never make sense to me. Salvation will never really make sense to me either, I just believe it. That's what faith is...believing what we just don't get."
But when I got tired of being lazy in my faith I started really digging into these questions and the deeper layers are fascinating and thrilling and I must share them!! I can't drown the puppies! 
The cross is the meeting place of God and man...the coming together of He who is holy and we who are not. 
Perfect God meets imperfect man in perfect Jesus. The cross is what had to happen at such a meeting. It is the intersection of His mighty, unconditional love and holiness with the devastation of our rebellious, idolatrous hearts. Jesus, fully God, fully man, is the only One who could act on His Father's behalf and ours. 

But I haven't answered those nagging questions...
on to part 3. 

When Love Seems Cruel - Part 1

The cries of a child fall on the ears of a parent like lead, like a lance... heavy, piercing, agitating.
A loving parent is motivated to relieve the child, a selfish parent runs the other way.
So what kind of "parent" was God the Father when His Son cried out in the garden "Let this cup pass", or from the cross "Why have you forsaken me?".
Those two little girls of mine...who hoisted their little brother onto limbs out of reach, their cries also fell on my ears most days, so heavy, so agitating; stirring up and weighing down a mom who struggled not to run away but instead understand the need and meet it.
Sometimes there was no way to relieve the physical pain of our "Beanie" as we call the younger.
Sometimes there was no quick way to deal with the iron will of our oldest...except to let her wail her frustrations.
These are my human limitations. I am limited in wisdom, in patience, in strength, and in foresight.
These are a child's limitations. She is limited in wisdom, in patience, in strength, and in foresight.
Not so with God the Father. Not so with God the Son.
And this is our dilemma. The Son seems to cry about exactly what He came to do. And the Father appears to ignore His Son's distress.
What are we to make of it?
Let's look at how Jesus addressed His Father:
 "Abba, Father", an expression of affection, closeness, and confidence.
Jesus' life with His Father was one of closeness and comfort. Some like to interpret this term as "Poppa" or "Daddy". Crying "Abba, Father", is Jesus drawing into God's arms...not saluting Him or reciting "Sir". Jesus trusted "Abba" with a deep, personal confidence. From this heart of trust, Jesus asked, "Is there any other way...I don't want to suffer!"
Who does? In our human lack of wisdom, patience, strength, and foresight, who wants suffering?!
And this point is a key point: Jesus was FULLY human.
We must seek to see Jesus not only as God, but as a man. He felt what we feel.
Dread? Yes.
Pain? Yes.
Sadness? Yes.
Loneliness? Yes.
Jesus subjected Himself to human limitations...why else would He ask "Is there any other way?" if He knew already that there wasn't?
Jesus took His soul questions to the One who has always been there for Him, the One who has always had the answers.
Jesus received His answer at the hands of His betrayer...
but was that betrayer Judas?
We read no other words from "Abba"; had He run the other way?
Or is there no other way...

When Love Seems Cruel (Introduction)

There is a serious element of risk when a young mom is not attentive to her 3-year-old. There is a serious lack of wisdom when a young mom believes her 5 and 6-year-olds are trustworthy babysitters. Afternoons at our house consistently provided an opportunity for chaos and injury because I was a young mom who taught piano lessons while my children "played". One such afternoon a lesson was disrupted by panicked screams from my girls...
I ran outside to find my sweet boy barely hanging from a limb far above my head...how did he get there? Well the ingenuity of his sisters of course, though they were safely on the ground.
As his tiny fingers struggled to hang on I yelled for help because that was all I could do. If I tried to climb up or go get help, he would surely fall without a safety net. A handicapped stranger meandering down the road came up to watch the spectacle but there was nothing he could do, so I told my son to let go and prayed I would catch him safely. His little feet dropped squarely into my hands in a fully upright position. My insides trembled with relief...what if I hadn't heard the cries? What if I hadn't been able to come and catch him?
Loving parents want to come when their child is in distress!
That's just the way it is...that's love!
Why then can we believe the Bible, believe Jesus' own words about God's love when His Father seemed to ignore His greatest distress?
Does Jesus' plea in the Garden for the cup to pass display the heart of a reluctant savior...a cruelly demanding Father? Does His cry of abandonment on the cross expose a crack in the character of Heaven?
Is the problem with God's definition of love or ours?
Or perhaps the definition of love is not the problem at all.
One thing is for sure, there is a serious element of risk when we are not attentive to the words of Jesus. There is a serious lack of wisdom when we believe that people are more trustworthy than God Himself.
So for the next couple of blogs, I will be exploring what Jesus' cries to His Father communicate to me about God's love.

When Forgiveness Seems Repugnant...

Heavy week. Our nation grieves and questions.
For the past couple of months I've been studying Jesus' relationships. This week I land on Jesus' relationships with his enemies. And it is what I need to hear and feel and sit with.
At the moment of His deepest pain, His greatest loneliness, history's most profound betrayal, Jesus gasped "Forgive them..."
"Forgive them, they do not know what they do."
"they"-the ones I made and love
"they"- the ones I came to rescue
"they"- the ones who kill me now
"they"-  the ones who represent all the ones
"Forgive them.
They do not know..."
They act in ignorance;
stubborn, blind, mistaken;
but mine.
And His friends watched him die, unable to help and scared for their lives. They left the cross and circled up in private to grieve and to hide.
 "When saturated with pain, people coalesce around wrongs done.
Seeking retribution or vengeance fuels more hatred, fear, self-righteousness and wrong-doing."
In moments of such unthinkable atrocity, "is it any wonder that forgiveness can seem more repugnant than retaliation? So let's be clear, forgiveness is not a human idea-it's God's."
Spiritual Disciplines Handbook, Adele Ahlberg Calhoun, pg. 213
Forgiveness is not a human idea because it is not a human capacity apart from love, and love originates in God not humans.
When an enemy wreaks havoc, we ask "Why?"
But understanding is not critical to forgiveness. Forgiveness is not an excusal, it is not a denial, it is not an approval. Forgiveness is not achieved, it is granted and received.
When a wrong is committed and people are victimized, our sense of justice demands that somebody somewhere must pay. Forgiveness means in a sense that we, the wronged, absorb the cost of the loss and do not demand the debt be paid by the one/s who cost us. This is what Jesus has accomplished for us. Created for love and life with our Creator, we cost Him every time we resist Him.
Jesus absorbed this cost and we are forgiven;
Not excused, not ignored, not condoned...
not earning
but accepting
forgiveness.
"Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." Matt. 5:44
That's the way of Jesus.
"To love someone means to see him, the "other" as God intended him" Fyodor Dostoevsky
The way of Jesus is knowing what we were all made for and loving us back into that reality.
His Heart and His resource are endless.
When we open our hearts to His, His heart fills ours and His forgiveness frees us to love and be loved.

"Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” Luke 7:47

Relationship Status - Part Two

If I said Jesus was perfect; would you agree?

If I said Jesus was the perfect friend;

would you also agree?

If I said Jesus' hurt his friends;

what would you say to that?

If God is love and Jesus the perfect representation of all the Father is, then in experiencing Jesus, His friends experienced perfect love. Yet there are multiple interactions reported in the Gospels that seem to confuse, disappoint and hurt Jesus' "friends";

interactions that would certainly confuse me if I were there...or if I were them.

But I don't need their stories to wonder at the ways of Jesus, I have my own; we all do.

Times when I might say like His mother: "Why have you treated us this way?"

Or, question Him like Mary and Martha: "Where were you?"

Or want to give up on him like Judas because He just isn't what I thought.

Jesus hurt His friends. 

So what does that tell us about His love? What does it reveal about our "status" with Him?

Are we mistaken in our hope of His goodness?

Are we mislead in our confidence of our relationship with Him?

Could He be as good and loving as we hope and still let us down?

John 11:5-6 "Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when He heard Lazarus was sick, He stayed two days longer in the place where He (Jesus) was."

Jesus' love for His friends compelled Him not to come when they called.

Allowing enough time to pass for His friend to suffer and die, Jesus then decided to go to them.

Contradicting and risking His other friends, the twelve in Jn. 11:9-11, I think Jesus was saying: "There is always enough time to do exactly what needs to be done...and we don't need to hurry to every crisis or worry about the consequences if we are walking in the understanding that God gives. There is a time for everything and now (not before now) is the time to help our friend. " Jesus was always on mission. John 10: 41-42

Then He goes and does exactly what He promised to begin with when He said, John 11: 4 "This sickness will not end in death."

Martha impresses me as a "take control" kind of woman. Jesus had not come until it seemed too late, and Martha confronted Him. Mary was so hurt she couldn't even bring herself to go to him at first.

Jesus reassured Martha that it is never too late for God to "show up" and make things right.

Even if the worst happens, it is never too late for Jesus to come through for His friends,

"I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies." Jn 11:25

But we don't want the worst to happen! We don't want Him to make up for suffering, we want to prevent it. It seems a cruel joke for Him to call Himself "Savior" and Friend and then choose to wait to step in! 

But Jesus says "I am GLAD for your sakes that I was not there, so that you may believe..."

His goodness and love always have the bigger picture in mind and the bigger picture is not just a shallow "Jesus is my friend and does what I want"; but a deep and profound trust that "Jesus is my Savior and does what I need". No matter what happens, He WILL make all things right; and when we fall at His feet like Mary, He will weep with us for the pain and work that we may see and believe and in believing

be saved.

No one can experience a real friendship with Jesus without the salvation that comes through trusting Him first.

Relationship status...

I've been assessing relationships in my life.
Whom am I failing?
How am I failing them as a friend?
Who do I want or need to know better?
Who needs a friend?
Who is it time to let go of?
The assessing has brought me to Jesus; how did Jesus handle the relationships in His life...
Family
God the Father and the Spirit
Satan
Friends
Enemies?

Assessing has also led me to investigate the kind of personal friend Jesus was to His "Band of Brothers", the twelve disciples.
Jesus is the kind of friend of whom must be said is...
Inviting
Jesus invited these men to follow Him. "What is it you are looking for? ...Come and see" He said to Andrew and John.
Encouraging
Jesus renamed Peter immediately as a vital part of the solid foundation He was building for the Church, though Peter was without any formal training or social status.
Pursuing
With Philip we see that He seeks people out and calls them into a purpose.
Celebrating
When Jesus met Nathanael, He applauded Nathanael (Bartholemew) for his straightforward honesty without taking offense. Jesus celebrates the good.
Personal
His interaction with Nathanael also reveals His depth of personal understanding.
Inspiring
Jesus inspired James to follow him, leaving his livelihood behind.
Forgiving
When Jesus met Matthew, He was already a man with some reputation and yet he risked it in inviting Matthew, a greedy tax collector to join the ranks. "Leave your old life behind and follow me" he said, and Matthew did.
Patient
And then there's doubting Thomas...Jesus in His eternal patience gently stretched Thomas' faith.
Trustworthy
James the Less (or younger) appears to have been a family member of Jesus...perhaps his later calling reveals a process of Jesus earning the trust of a relative prone to think less? Maybe this is a stretch but regardless, Jesus honored His promises and James became a loyal follower.
Burden Bearing
To Judas Thaddeus, He takes the burden of saving the world... this Judas who carried his privilege of knowing Jesus with responsibility and compassion. Jesus reassures: "What I offer to you, I offer to all all. Help is coming" (John 14:22-27)
Gracious
To Simon the Zealot, Jesus extended grace. His grace transformed a violent legalist to an impassioned learner/servant.
Self-sacrificing
Finally, Jesus sacrificed Himself in drawing in His betrayer Judas Iscariot.

And all these friends but the one, spent their lives for the One who called them "friend".

John 15:13-15The Message (MSG)

11-15 “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I’m no longer calling you servants because servants don’t understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I’ve named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the Father."

"Lord Jesus- I am not this kind of friend. I thank you for being this perfect friend to me and ask that you would take our 'relationship status'... and live it out in my life to all my friends. Amen"

A Moth to A Flame

"Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug out in Muskrat Land..."

These were lyrics in my head when I awoke this morning, and that's when I knew for sure the week had been a little too much for me! My husband's back, my dog's bladder, a massive tree covering half our driveway ( for starters)...all just life circumstances but it's had us discussing how we deal with pain and inconvenience. 
What do we run to when dealing with ongoing challenges?
Our American culture is in this "Opioid Crises" for a reason, 
people are in pain.
Life feels adversarial and
people want relief.
After forty days in the desert, without food, I'm sure Jesus wanted relief.
I want relief when I miss breakfast!
Luke 4 describes the first recorded interaction of Jesus with His adversary Satan:

"4 1-2 Now Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wild. For forty wilderness days and nights, he was tested by the Devil. He ate nothing during those days, and when the time was up he was hungry.

3 The Devil, playing on his hunger, gave the first test: “Since you’re God’s Son, command this stone to turn into a loaf of bread.”

4 Jesus answered by quoting Deuteronomy: “It takes more than bread to really live.”

5-7 For the second test he led him up and spread out all the kingdoms of the earth on display at once. Then the Devil said, “They’re yours in all their splendor to serve your pleasure. I’m in charge of them all and can turn them over to whomever I wish. Worship me and they’re yours, the whole works.”

8 Jesus refused, again backing his refusal with Deuteronomy: “Worship the Lord your God and only the Lord your God. Serve him with absolute single-heartedness.”

9-11 For the third test the Devil took him to Jerusalem and put him on top of the Temple. He said, “If you are God’s Son, jump. It’s written, isn’t it, that ‘he has placed you in the care of angels to protect you; they will catch you; you won’t so much as stub your toe on a stone’?”

12 “Yes,” said Jesus, “and it’s also written, ‘Don’t you dare tempt the Lord your God.’”

13 That completed the testing. The Devil retreated temporarily, lying in wait for another opportunity."

I never realized that Satan doesn't show himself in Biblical History until this interaction. We have the serpent in Genesis which seems to be a creature embodying Satan...but the account of Jesus' temptation is the first time Satan appears without disguise to tempt Jesus with relief.
"You have the power you need to feed yourself! Do it!
But instead of allowing his appetite to cause Him to act independently of His Father, Jesus depends on God's timing and ability to sustain Him.
"Why go through all this pain to make everything how you want it to be? I'll do that for you right here, right now!"
Jesus was able to discern the shortsightedness of this offer. What Satan offered had no lasting substance. The only way to accomplish all He had come to do, meant His Father's time, His Father's way.
"If you want people to start believing in you, you should make a spectacle of yourself! Get them to pay attention to you...show off!" 
And to this Jesus reminds Satan that God is no one to push around.

Jesus responds to Satan with complete focus on His true hope: relationship with His Father God, His Spirit (clearly revealed in the passage by the words: "Jesus being full of the Spirit") and the Word.
When I think of our temptations in life to appease, escape or avoid pain,
when I think of the adversarial circumstances and people we come up against,
I am reminded of the moth. A moth is driven to a flame by something called transversal orientation.
Equipped with a navigational system to orient itself to a distant, natural light (the moon)
a moth becomes disoriented by artificial light and drawn into heat it cannot survive.

So true for us. In moments of intense need,  the most destructive things can seem like such bright ideas...holding out the promise of relief and blinding us to certain wreckage.
We are made to orient ourselves, understand life and discern our course of action by the light of God the Father, His Spirit and His Word. His timing, His way is THE way through our pain to our future.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” Heb.10:23