When Forgiveness Seems Repugnant...

Heavy week. Our nation grieves and questions.
For the past couple of months I've been studying Jesus' relationships. This week I land on Jesus' relationships with his enemies. And it is what I need to hear and feel and sit with.
At the moment of His deepest pain, His greatest loneliness, history's most profound betrayal, Jesus gasped "Forgive them..."
"Forgive them, they do not know what they do."
"they"-the ones I made and love
"they"- the ones I came to rescue
"they"- the ones who kill me now
"they"-  the ones who represent all the ones
"Forgive them.
They do not know..."
They act in ignorance;
stubborn, blind, mistaken;
but mine.
And His friends watched him die, unable to help and scared for their lives. They left the cross and circled up in private to grieve and to hide.
 "When saturated with pain, people coalesce around wrongs done.
Seeking retribution or vengeance fuels more hatred, fear, self-righteousness and wrong-doing."
In moments of such unthinkable atrocity, "is it any wonder that forgiveness can seem more repugnant than retaliation? So let's be clear, forgiveness is not a human idea-it's God's."
Spiritual Disciplines Handbook, Adele Ahlberg Calhoun, pg. 213
Forgiveness is not a human idea because it is not a human capacity apart from love, and love originates in God not humans.
When an enemy wreaks havoc, we ask "Why?"
But understanding is not critical to forgiveness. Forgiveness is not an excusal, it is not a denial, it is not an approval. Forgiveness is not achieved, it is granted and received.
When a wrong is committed and people are victimized, our sense of justice demands that somebody somewhere must pay. Forgiveness means in a sense that we, the wronged, absorb the cost of the loss and do not demand the debt be paid by the one/s who cost us. This is what Jesus has accomplished for us. Created for love and life with our Creator, we cost Him every time we resist Him.
Jesus absorbed this cost and we are forgiven;
Not excused, not ignored, not condoned...
not earning
but accepting
forgiveness.
"Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." Matt. 5:44
That's the way of Jesus.
"To love someone means to see him, the "other" as God intended him" Fyodor Dostoevsky
The way of Jesus is knowing what we were all made for and loving us back into that reality.
His Heart and His resource are endless.
When we open our hearts to His, His heart fills ours and His forgiveness frees us to love and be loved.

"Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” Luke 7:47